You’re getting married – so exciting! And so the planning begins… if you are not planning a Church wedding then in the UK this means only one thing; you need to use the services of a licensed Registrar. Whether your wedding is to be held in a fine Country House, a Castle or a Hotel, you must employ the services of the local registrar to witness your wedding vows and sign those official documents.
So far, so easy – registrars are registrars, are they not? Please be warned – not all registrars are the same.
You pay for their services at your wedding, and they will of course fit neatly and simply with your plans. But unfortunately it doesn’t seem to work that way.
The wedding ceremony itself, that part of the day when you actually become man and wife (or wife and wife, Husband and Husband…). The whole point of the day, the reason why you, your family and your nearest and very dearest are all gathered together. Without the ceremony itself, without those vows, that official register signing… well there is no wedding, is there? Quite the most important part of the day! And to not have those memories of your ceremony recorded would leave a huge gap in your wedding album, rather like reading a very exciting book and leaving out “the what actually happened’ part.
And yet, so very many registrars simply refuse photographers permission to photograph anything except the arrival of the bride, the (fake) signing of the register, and the recession of the bridal party. They will cite reasons such as interruption, distraction, the sanctity of the ceremony, Health & Safety, the Data Protection Act… but all they are doing is ensuring you have not one image of the actual ceremony, no photographs of your actual marriage vows, no record of the look on your face at the moment you said “I do…”.
This is a problem for photographers throughout the UK. But the rules do vary registrar to registrar – there is simply no continuity. Registrars have the power to stop your ceremony, the power to refuse to marry you, the power to eject anyone from the ceremony they decide should not be there – and if you want to get married there is absolutely nothing you can do about it!
When we are commissioned for a wedding we always contact the celebrant to talk through the ceremony, visit them if possible, and make sure we find a way to work together. We of course do not wish to disrupt the sanctity of the marriage service, but also need to ensure we can record the ceremony for our couples. Within a religious ceremony this is easy – we can talk to the vicar, priest, minister, Brahma or Rabbi, and absolutely never have an issue. If there are rules we can discuss them and find a compromise.
Unfortunately with registrars it is usually impossible to do this before the wedding day, as you don’t know which registrar will be at your ceremony. With that in mind, we always make sure we are at the venue in plenty of time to approach the appointed officials ahead of the ceremony. We introduce ourselves, and try to establish some rapport and understanding of what we can do to photograph our couple’s special moments… and this is often when those ugly problems arise. As I have said, a photographer is commonly told they may photograph the entrance of the Bride, with luck ONE shot of the ring exchange, a pretend register signing (with a dummy register), and of course the exit of the Bride and Groom as man and wife.
What about the emotion as the happy couple stare into each other’s eyes for the first time? The tears of joy, the nervous giggles? The reaction of Mum and Dad as ‘I do’s are said? Where has the real wedding ceremony gone?
Sometimes it can be even worse than that! On one occasion (and I won’t name names), I was in a Gloucestershire parish waiting outside the venue on a lovely sunny day for the registrars to arrive. On seeing them approach the venue I walked towards them hand outstretched to greet them with a smile on my face. Before I could speak the ‘Gentleman’ (and I use this term ironically) said,
“You’re the photographer are you? If I see you in the room taking pictures I will throw you out, stay out of my ******* way”.
And that was that. How nice.
Of course, 20 minutes before the ceremony is NOT the time to attempt to fight my couple’s corner. I simply cannot disrupt proceedings arguing points of law with the registrar, so I simply have to bite my tongue and accede to their wishes – allowing the cycle to perpetuate to the next wedding, and the next poor photographer.
Registrars will often try and wave ‘the law’ at us, saying photographing the register is an offence, not allowed, it holds other peoples details and is against the Data Protection Act. This simply is NOT true! There is NO official law on this matter; rather a mere guideline. According to a Home Office spokesman, they have, for some time now, occasionally advised against taking photos in which the (wedding) register may be seen, simply because the photograph might be a distraction, leading to an inaccurate entry and the need for a formal correction in the register. They are also concerned about the risk of damage to the register, as a fountain pen filled with archival ink hovers for some indefinite time over the page. Which, of course, are both utterly irrelevant if you are photographing the actual signing with no ‘and-now-smile-for-me’ posing allowed!
The Home Office is at pains to point out that this guidance has always been the same and has NOT changed as a result of the Data Protection Act.
But I have painted a black picture of registrars and that is not actually fair – I meet many truly lovely ones too, who are incredibly accommodating and recognise the importance of photography of this part of the wedding day. I do work all over the UK, and experience many registrars, and equally as many rules.
Just in our local area of Dorset the registrars are absolutely lovely; nothing is too much trouble, and they will often go out of their way to make things easier for us photographers. Bournemouth and Poole, although inside Dorset, have unnecessarily strict and restrictive rules. Step a few miles over the border to Wiltshire and everything changes again.
So – listen up, Brides and Grooms. It’s up to you to do something about this. It’s your wedding day, and when you book the services of your local registrar be firm, tell them what you want recorded and why. And if they kick up a fuss, complain and tell them that they have no legal right to object, stand your ground. After all it’s your wedding day, your memories that they are stealing. We promise to do our best to stand your corner; please help us to help you.
