A secomd post from me today and one more lovely engagement story for you to read…

Today, please welcome Liz and Martin…

It’s almost a year to the day that Fireman and I became a couple, and during that time I have received what is beginning to feel like an endlessly unhelpful amount of advice.  Those older and wiser think I should take things more slowly. It is accepted wisdom that divorces take a long time to recover from. It’s a universal concern that it will be confusing, “bad” even, for my children to see me becoming attached to another man. It is difficult advice to listen to when you’re happy. For my part, I have long since given up trying to understand why couples split up, or for that matter stay together. In the end, what matters is only what they want to do. The rest is just noise.

It has surprised me just how much my divorce and new relationship have become public property. Like pregnancy, it is a life event that people seem very comfortable to comment on, whether or not their advice is solicited, or even welcome. It’s as though these monumental changes can be managed by platitudes, reduced to a universal set of truths. To one-liners better reserved for the greetings card industry: “Don’t get serious for at least a year” “Don’t introduce your kids to him till you’re sure it’s serious” “Make sure he doesn’t want any more children”.  I often wonder how my friends would react if I offered that kind of unsolicited advice to them: “Isn’t it time you got a job?” “Your mother is a self absorbed Gorgon!” “Why are you the only person who hasn’t noticed he’s gay?” It is deemed socially inappropriate that I should give this advice, but not that I should listen to theirs. And though it may be well meaning, I find that profoundly irritating.

It’s one of those rare evenings when the kids are all away, there is nothing to do, and the weather is kind. Fireman and I decide to have a barbecue in the back garden. We consider inviting friends but actually I want to be selfish and spend some time just with him. We’re both feeling comfortable and happy in our domestic bliss and I’m fussing around with food and wine and plates and matches and he catches me around the waist and makes me stand still.

“Will you marry me?”

There. Just like that.

It’s no surprise that not one word of the advice I have received over the past year has lodged in or anywhere near my brain. My answer is a reflection only of what I want to do, because I am happy. Is there another kind of answer? Aren’t we just window dressing motives we are ashamed to admit are that selfish? That simple?

“Of course”.

Thank you Liz and Martin, fabulous

So tomorrow is the big day, Valentines day…but later today we shall be announcing the winner of out Valentines day competition. I hope you have enjoyed the few engagement stories we have chosen to share with you. Thank you to everyone who has entered (story published or not), I wish you all the very best of luck. Watch this space!!

Best wishes

Courtenay x

Dorset Wedding Photographer – Courtenay Photographic Ltd